I’m struggling a bit with the realisation that this is the only place I can share what’s closest to my heart, and telling people things I shouldn’t. It’s very important to give people what they want if they are going to be in your life at all. And I need people in my life, they just don’t need the deep part of me in their life. So I will give them just the parts they want and not force on them the parts they hate. It’s going to take some time and discipline to get me to express my deepest parts here (and to my therapist), and not to anyone else. But if I’m not going to scare the people out of my life, AND be able to have some safe space in my life so I don’t go insane bottling everything up, this is what I must do.